End of an Era?
I think I am finally, finally over my ambivalence about whether to have another child. (My husband has no ambivalence; the last time I mentioned it—a few years ago—he wished me and my "new husband" loads of luck and promised to write often.) Today I got an e-mail that some old friends we'd been out of touch with had just had their third baby (we hadn't even known they were expecting!). And, you know what? I'm thrilled for them, but I'm also glad I don't have a newborn. I do still wish things had worked out so that I had 4 kids instead of 3, but I can honestly say that I know I don't now want another baby.
posted by Karen @ 6:52 PM
7 Comments:
At 6:02 AM,
landismom said…
I know what you mean. My neighbor is about to have her second, and while I can sit there and look at adorable newborn stuff (and soon newborn) forever, that doesn't mean I want one of my own, anymore.
At 9:50 PM,
... said…
I'm still in the slightly-pining-for-another-but-really-not-too-sure phase. Sigh. I give myself 4 years more before I shut/open that door for real. I have huge issues with my daughter being an only child. It's morbid, but I can't help but think about her having to bury me alone. Ugh.
At 11:30 AM,
Melissa said…
..., i know completely what you mean. my sister & i were just in the midwest moving our grandmother into a nursing home & the whole time i was there going through that awful process i kept thinking, thank goodness i have a sister to be here with me because it would be so much more overwhelming & depressing to do it alone..
i want very much for Nile to have a sibling, but some days i worry that i don't have the stress threshhold to handle more than one kid. having siblings is such a huge blessing & i believe that it really enriches life. anyway, blah blah blah. moral of the story is i think siblings are great & karen, i think you're amazing for having three kids. big families rule.
At 11:32 AM,
Tammy said…
Call me morbid, too, but the thought of Sam having to deal with me and my husband when we're old all by himself is a major reason why I'm considering having a second child. I hate thinking of him all by himself. And lord help him if I pass away first and he has to deal with old senile Rusty all alone. Cuz you know Rusty's going to be one cantankerous old geezer.
I really like kids, and if I'd started younger and lived in a less expensive city, I could actually picture myself quite happily with three or four, but as it is I'm pretty happy with just Sam.
At 2:56 PM,
Karen said…
Having more than one is indeed hard, but mostly just at the beginning. After my second one was born, I kept saying over and over, "WHY did I ever think it was hard to have just one kid???" But that tough time doesn't last forever, and then in many ways it ends up being EASIER to have more than one, because they have each other to hang out with. Even if they don't always get along, at least they're not always looking to YOU for interaction. And, weird as it may seem, a third is no harder than a second, because you're already used to juggling. I think it takes 3 to get it right: I hovered over my first one too much, and my second one threw me for a loop because I was suddenly juggling. By the time my third came along, I learned to just make sure no one is bleeding and then do the best I can. ;-)
At 3:35 PM,
Anne-Marie said…
At this point, hub and I are thinking one kid is enough - I think we have a fear of a multitude of kids taking over our lives, and losing ourselves in the process. We're still at that selfish stage in life I guess... I have a brother but he's almost 9 yrs younger so in reality, I was an only child for most of my childhood. This being said, I can totally see myself yearning for another little baby once Sam is all 'grown up' at the tender age of 2 or 3 yrs old...
At 2:40 PM,
Unknown said…
Thanks so much for writing this. I'm on the fence about adding a third to our brood, and it's helpful to read other moms' thought processes with respect to this issue.
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