Dear motorcycle owners of the world...

No, not you people who drive ordinary motorcycles. I'm talking to the people who drive those bikes where they've done something to the exhaust to make it extra loud. You know, so loud that it makes your windows rattle and your teeth vibrate in your gums. And then they like to rev them for several minutes right outside your house before they take off.

Let me start again.

Dear (aforementioned) motorcycle owners of the world,

Please know that when you drive your earsplittingly loud bikes down my street and wake up my tired, sleeping baby, who then screams and cries like his poor little heart is going to break for twenty minutes... please know that there is an unassuming-looking, otherwise peace-loving woman sitting in her house hoping with all of her heart that you hit an oil slick, wipe out, and die a slow, painful death as what little brains you have ooze out onto the road.

Hmm. Maybe that sounds a little vicious. But I still mean it.

Love,
Doppelganger