Bored Housewives Network

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Thursday, June 22, 2006

Ask a Bored Housewife: Peeing as a stalling tactic

All of you been-there-done-that moms may be able to help out with this one:
Dear Bored Housewives,

I have a 3 year old. She's been dry for over a year during the day, but still wets herself when she sleeps (both nap and nights). I know that when her body is ready this will end... it's not the real peeing that bothers me. It's the "I need to pee" as a stalling tactic before bed (night only - she's fine going down for naps).

Peeing is one of the last steps in our bedtime routine. But between then and sleep she usually gets up 1-4 more times (sometimes within 5-10 minutes). Often "the pee didn't want to come out." I'd appreciate suggestions for nipping this one in the bud, without ignoring any real body cues she's experiencing.

Special Person
I wish I had some helpful advice, but I think I'm guilty of using the same tactic. Have at 'er, BHNers.


  • At 2:14 PM, Blogger ... said…

    My daughter still pulls this one on me from time to time and she's eight. But I recall it getting pretty out of control when she was younger.

    We ritualized the heckfire out of bedtime. Teethbrushing and one final trip to the loo BEFORE reading time. We found that if she left her bed after reading she found herself a second wind.

    This helped, but it didn't always work. For us it was separation anxiety. What eventually worked for us is a trick my mom apparently used on me when I was wee. I would spray a puff of my perfume in the room and told her it was a magic way to keep mommy with her. Corny, I know but it worked. Still works on nightmares.

    And I totally understand the fear of ignoring a physical problem. Finn suffered/s from serious bladder infections. So we had to be really careful not to make the whole urinating thing a big deal. She would hold her bladder for as long as possible as kind of a control thing. The doctors explained that this was triggering infections. We were told to relax, not make a big deal out of it, structured bedtime, etc.

    Like everything else a whole lotta trial and error and worry. Ah. but it sorts itself out. Eventually everything does!

  • At 2:58 PM, Blogger Tammy said…

    Kris (aka Cataclysm) and I had lunch together today and were talking about this. Kris pointed out that not only does the idea of toilet training seem light years away, but the idea of toilet training being stalled because your child is playing mindgames with you is utterly beyond us.

    So, sorry if we newby moms haven't been forthcoming! Special Person, if you're out there, how goes bedtime these days?

  • At 8:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It is not easy ,but it will change in time. Time is the cure.

    Children are one third of our population and all of our future. ~Select Panel for the Promotion of Child Health, 1981

    Be patience it will get better.



  • At 11:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    thanks for all the feedback. doppelganger, because you ask, things are better now. what we did was put a potty right in her room with a roll of toilet paper beside it. so, if she really had to go, she could, but if it was getting out and checking out the scene in the living room... no dice. a couple of mornings we found that the potty had been used... but usually it's dry, and she never needed to leave her room. we used some excuse as to why you don't need to wash your hands at night...

    special person

  • At 9:43 PM, Blogger Tammy said…

    Yay! That's great news... and some pretty ingenious strategizing, too. We're still smarter than our kids. Boo-ya!


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