Bored Housewives Network

Getting through the day, one bonbon at a time.

Thursday, August 31, 2006


Geez, it's been a long time since I've posted anything here. I'm having a tough time concentrating on things, because the Potato keeps waking me up at 5:45 a.m. Grrrrr!

Now, you'd think that a reasonable woman like me would do one of the following:

a) tell the kid that it's not time to get up if it's still dark outside (nope, he's just not listening to that one)

b) adjust her own bedtime, so that instead of going to bed at midnight, she's tucked in by 10:30 or so (what? and give up my blogging time?)

c) nudge her spouse, who after all is not working right now, and can TAKE NAPS during the day (but the guy sleeps sounder than the proverbial log)

So what's a tired mama to do?

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Eat the noodle, Sammy

This is what happens every time I leave my husband alone with Sam: they eat Ichiban noodles like a pair of frat boys. And he wonders why I micro-manage our mealtimes.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Ask a Bored Housewife: I want to have a family, but how do I get over my fear of everything?

Oh my lord. Here's a doozy of a letter. It's only about, oh, everything.
Hello all,

I recently started reading and cruised on over to today, and am totally taking you up on your offer to ask questions. I'm 33, married 4 years, and trying to get my fears of pregnancy, labor, and motherhood reconciled with my desire to have a family.

Like Doppelganger, when I was 25, I thought I would never have kids... but as I get older I realize how important having a family is to me - but that doesn't change the fact that I'm afraid of vomiting, afraid of my body changing, afraid of the unknown, afraid of damn near everything... did you know that there is a lot of shit out there on the internets that will scare a poor neurotic girl right out of her mind?

I never was around babies in general, never was a babysitter, have no sisters or close friends with babies... so if you have any good stories, any stories of learning to cope, or any words of wisdom, all would be much appreciated!

With thanks,
You can bet I'll be chiming in with my $0.04. I'm VERY interested to hear what everyone else has to say.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

I'm Weaning my Telepathic Baby.

It's day one of the journey. Words of wisdom appreciated.
Umm, and how do I get the milk to go away? I've heard sage tea? Cabbage leaves?

Thursday, August 10, 2006

"Sorry, but my children bore me to death!"

I read this article several days ago, and something about it just isn't sitting right with me. It's not the obvious fact that, WTF? If you find kids so boring, why did you have not just one but two of them? And it's not the even more transparent fact that The Daily Mail is clearly using this piece as reader bait to stir up controversy, because y'all know how much Joe and Jane Public love to judge mothers.

No, something about this piece just feels dishonest to me, as if the writer, Helen Kirwin-Taylor, isn't giving us the full story.

It's not that I'm disenfranchising Kirwin-Taylor of her right to feel occasionally bored by the routines of parenthood. God knows I've been there. It's her blanket statement that she unilaterally finds pretty much every aspect of motherhood boring. There's something she's not telling us. At some point in her own experience of being a parent or a child, she's experienced something that terrified her and made her afraid to really connect with her children. The false (to me) bravado she evidences in stating over and over again how bored she is, and how she'd rather be shopping at Harvey Nichols, just reinforces my theory. I feel it in my gut.

What do you guys think?

Saturday, August 05, 2006

She's ba-ack!

Let the de-spoiling begin! I am so glad to have her back, but man, did my parents spoil the snot out of her. "Grandpa made me 5 pancakes - fried in tonnes of butter - every morning! He didn't make me eat seedy ORGANIC pancakes!" "We went for ice cream EVERYDAY! You never let me do ANYTHING." "We have to walk to the store?! At Grandma's we didn't walk ANYWHERE! Can't you get us a ride?" "What do you mean, we don't have any pop? At Grandmas..."

And so on and so forth. Oh, but she's so darling when she's sleeping!

Friday, August 04, 2006

bad mommy

So I have a brand new job, but I’m “transitioning” – that means that I’m working half and half for the month of August until I start it up for reals in September. It’s the same company, but a totally different building. I can describe my new office, position, and all of that together as fancy ass. Yesterday was my first day. I was hoping today was going to be my second even-more-impressive day. It was. Until ten. At ten the camp called to tell me that they found nits in Mia’s hair and I’d have to come and get her.

According to the medicated shampoo directions, we’re supposed to be nit-picking every night until next Tuesday when she gets another chemical blast, but apparently my ex-husband didn’t take this direction seriously when he had her last night.

I lied at work: I told them my daughter was ‘ill’. I guess that’s technically true.

Another bad parenting moment? When we finally got in (I had to pick them up at the rural site) at eleven, I let both of them play the play station while I took a cold beer out of the fridge and downed it before I got to the business of picking through her hair.

Thank god there were no crawlers!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

the lousy evening

What adorable children! Sure they’re staring off into space at some video game, but cute! Why are their heads so oddly coifed though?

It’s head lice! And head lice shampoo! And gross!

Seriously, people, ick! This is my first experience with the head bugs and I can’t say I’m very impressed. I’m so squicked-out right now. I had actually thought – the baby years behind us – that I was through with the gross part of parenting. How very wrong I was.

Wish me luck through these bad times. I obviously need it.