Bored Housewives Network

Getting through the day, one bonbon at a time.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

"Sorry, but my children bore me to death!"

I read this article several days ago, and something about it just isn't sitting right with me. It's not the obvious fact that, WTF? If you find kids so boring, why did you have not just one but two of them? And it's not the even more transparent fact that The Daily Mail is clearly using this piece as reader bait to stir up controversy, because y'all know how much Joe and Jane Public love to judge mothers.

No, something about this piece just feels dishonest to me, as if the writer, Helen Kirwin-Taylor, isn't giving us the full story.

It's not that I'm disenfranchising Kirwin-Taylor of her right to feel occasionally bored by the routines of parenthood. God knows I've been there. It's her blanket statement that she unilaterally finds pretty much every aspect of motherhood boring. There's something she's not telling us. At some point in her own experience of being a parent or a child, she's experienced something that terrified her and made her afraid to really connect with her children. The false (to me) bravado she evidences in stating over and over again how bored she is, and how she'd rather be shopping at Harvey Nichols, just reinforces my theory. I feel it in my gut.

What do you guys think?


  • At 7:43 PM, Blogger ... said…

    It seems a bit boasty-pants to me. Like when some women make a big deal out of holding a baby... put on a big show as to how very unnatural it feels to them... all in an attempt to reiterate how modern they are and how much they don't want children.

    It also reminds me of when women belch loudly in public all defiant-like. It's a real "fuck you" attitude that always makes me think that the person is over-compensating. I don't imagine that all those feminists fought for the right to be rude at the dinner table.

    Where was I going with this? Right. This lady has the same tone about her. And it really is too bad. She raises some interesting points. I mean who wouldn't rather go shopping than play hot potato at a kid's party? Come on. Nothing original there.

  • At 12:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    See, I think the main reason I fell in love with my son is that he's so entertaining.....

  • At 6:31 PM, Blogger landismom said…

    I mean, it's fine to be bored at times by your children. But I almost believe this is a satire.

    It's not like work is always interesting either (although I've yet to have anyone call me "stupid dummyhead" at my office--at least, to my face).

  • At 4:12 PM, Blogger Melissa said…

    Dopp, I think you're right. something is off here.

    What I like least about this article is her choice of vocabulary. when she says things like, "mind-numbing", "lobotomy", "tedious", and even "boring" come off as really harsh, judgemental & abrasive.

    She has some points that I actually agree with, but her delivery makes it impossible for me to feel any kind of kinship with her.

    I too, wonder why she bothered having kids at all. Yes, having a baby often makes me crazy, but more than that, it makes me happy. Being able to state, so proudly, that your children bore you, seems really juvenile to me.

    Reading her say that her kids make their own weekend plans because she has "forgotten to bother" makes me feel really sad for her children.

    I read through most of the reader comments on the Daily Mail site and it's a relief to see that most people were appauled by her stance.

    I personally find it really sad. Both for her and her kids. She's really missing out.

    Having a baby has been the single most rewarding experience of my life. Sure, sometimes I leave him with a babysitter and have an overwhelming sense of relief to have a few hours to myself. But I am always thrilled to see him again when my 2 hours are up.

  • At 6:27 PM, Blogger Angela said…

    I believe that some people should not have children and this article describes one person. To be a parent you must be willing to give of yourself and it does not seem like this woman is willing to give of herself. Why have children if you are not going to be an active player in their lives.

  • At 7:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Yeah, I think it's only "taboo" to say you resent the sacrifices parenthood requires if you HAVE CHILDREN. Turns out modern science has found ways to let you avoid that.

  • At 10:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "The Daily Mail is clearly using this piece as reader bait to stir up controversy, because y'all know how much Joe and Jane Public love to judge mothers."

    Well put. A few months ago I read The Mommy Myth, which details this type manufactured conflict between mothers in the media - an interesting read.

    It's really upsetting how much is done to undermine mothers. It is exhausting, it *can* be boring, but at the end of the day, most of us struggle to do the best we can with what we've got! Most of us love it, in our way. But we do need down time.

    The sooner we learn to support each other, and openly disagree with the Perfect Mom/Horrible Mother pigeonholes, the better we'll all be.

  • At 12:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    openly disagree with the Perfect Mom/Horrible Mother pigeonholes

    Wait -- that would mean I couldn't enjoy judging the Horrible Mothers on Supernanny! No deal.

  • At 6:54 AM, Blogger Alice said…

    It seems to me a bit of the problem is not that she's a bad mother (which it seems like she is), but that's she's a nasty person. I can see her listening to a friend crying about a problem, and thinking "hmm, I could be getting a manicure. This is boring."

    Also - is it just me, or are the kids in that picture WAY younger than 10 & 12? Does she have no recent family photos?

  • At 9:30 PM, Blogger Melissa said…

    Hmm. Yeah.

    She's not bored so much as she is totally checked out. I think DG has it exactly right--for whatever reason, she's not able to be present as a mother. It is sad, for both her and her kids. She's missing what could be a great experience and her kids are going to grow up feeling like they don't matter.

  • At 8:40 PM, Blogger trophycase said…

    The Globe and Mail wrote about this in their focus this weekend.

  • At 8:57 PM, Blogger Tammy said…

    Interesting article. Well, maybe not that interesting, because I think Ms. Slush said it best -- and first -- when she commented that the declaration of boredom seemed "boasty-pants... Like when some women make a big deal out of holding a baby... put on a big show as to how very unnatural it feels to them... all in an attempt to reiterate how modern they are and how much they don't want children."

    One thing the Globe piece touched (but just barely) on is the role of dads in the equation. The piece seemed to suggest that, since fathers have historically had the privilege of checking out and being unattached to their children, the fact that this option is now available to women is some kind of bold feminist leap forward. Except that it's not. When I hear about dads who are wilfully uninvolved in their children's lives, I think they're assholes. And I think the same thing about women. I refuse to agree that feminism is about empowering ourselves to be dinks.

  • At 11:22 PM, Blogger maruschka said…

    It sounds false to me...I can agree that being a parent isnĀ“t always a rosegarden, but WTH, children are a gift, so give them to someone who appriciate them then, and stop complaining!!!

  • At 6:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Not wanting to cause trouble but the name of this blog is BORED housewives network. Perhaps Helen isn't alone?


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