Bored Housewives Network

Getting through the day, one bonbon at a time.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Lady Lumps

Today I had to explain to my 8-year-old the definition of "Lady Lumps" and why I never want to hear her saying/singing/or thinking the lyrics to the Black Eyed Peas ditty from whence they came. Not only is this song possibly the worst EVER written - it is the catchiest reptilian jingle I've heard since Eiffel 65's "Blue" hit the wedding reception circuit.

The poor kid. Once I told her that "lumps" were breasts and that a "hump" was a tushie - she was sufficiently grossed out. I was relieved. I hate being the uptight mom - but, come on...

Mind you, I remember gleefully singing "Sexual Healing" with my cousins when I was about the same age.

Oh well. She'll just have to wait for the Mini Pops to release a sanitized version.


  • At 12:24 AM, Blogger Tammy said…

    Heh. I was only a little bit older than that when my sister and I formed our pop duo, which only played exclusive engagements in our bedrooms. Our repertoire consisted of Blondie's "One Way or Another", Hall & Oates's "Maneater" and Rough Trade's "High School Confidential".

    If I were the kind of person who blushes, I'd be turning red right now at the image of my not-even-ten-year-old self singing "It makes me cream my jeans when she comes my way." To this day, I have no idea what I thought that meant.

    You gotta keep your kid away from Black Eyed Peas. Fergie pees her pants in public! That's a bad influence.

  • At 8:53 AM, Blogger Gwen said…

    The crassness of the phrasing bothers me more than its intent. I'd rather have my kids listen to lyrics like, "Men spend money on me in the hopes of touching my breasts" than this hump/lump shit. The fact that she adds the word lady to the mix makes it that much more disgusting. "Lady lumps" sounds like something your prudish aunt would use to describe cystic fibroids.

  • At 9:19 PM, Blogger Anne-Marie said…

    I distinctively remember being 13 years old, standing on our front porch with my best friend at the time, singing at the top of our lungs "HUMPty dump, HUMP HUMPty dumpty dumpty, HUMPthy dump..."

    I thought I was the shit.


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