Ask a Bored Housewife: What to Do When Hosting Overly Rowdy Young Guests

Dear Bored Housewives,

This weekend, my husband and I sponsored a going away party for some friends. We invited our circle of mutual friends and their children (approx. 30 adults and 10 kids/babies) for coffee and dessert. It was a laid back Sunday evening, nothing fancy.

Among our guests were three couples with a total of five 3- and 5-year-old boys between them. Said boys immediately began jumping up and down on our sectional sofa and pulling it apart. First graders were running around ON the couch. They were standing on the back, jumping off, then scrabbling up and over. Repeatedly. Couch cushions were placed in the middle of the floor to make a fort.

Setting aside my momentary embarrassment at the unexpected exposure of a forgotten hair clip, stray piece of popcorn and other detritus that collects under a couch's cushions, I was stunned that these kids would treat someone else's property that way. I'm fairly laid back about these things, and do not generally overreact to incidental property damage (earlier in the evening I watched a favorite vase fall and shatter due to a guest's enormous handbag and didn't blink -- these things happen) so please believe that I do not exaggerate when I say that my couch is destroyed. Cushions sag, springs audibly creak, one leg is cracked, and the hardwood floor beneath is scratched.

Aside from that, the jumping, whooping and wrestling kept the other guests from being able to sit in that room, or maintain a conversation over the din. The three mothers were sitting directly across from the couch in the only other available chairs in that room, watching bemusedly as their kids ruined my couch, and offered a half-hearted, "Sorry about this..." while my husband was literally lifting the section pieces back into place multiple times during the course of the evening. These are women who are intelligent professionals who generally appear to have their lives in hand. I've been to their homes and spent time with their kids, who are normally fairly well behaved, and have never seen this crazed behavior.

Neither my husband nor I made any overt comments (i.e. "Get the hell off the couch!") to the boys or their mothers (or fathers -- who were not in the room) but did comment pointedly that the boys were "spirited" and mused that they must really like the cookies. As a parent, I would have picked up on this hint, and done something about my child's rowdy behavior, but I am not unsympathetic to the fact that sometimes children just don't act they way you want them to in public. What puzzles me is that these women didn't even try to control their kids. They didn't split them up, give them a warning, or issue a lackluster "Honey, no." They didn't even make them take their shoes off!

My question is this:

Where do I draw the line between not wanting to make comment on a friend's lack of parental control, and protecting my couch from sofacide? Am I crazy for being angry at these moms who blithely murmured, "Sorry for tearing up your house" as they sailed out the door to go home? Did holding my tongue serve as tacit permission for the kids to act that way? My husband and I have crossed them off our list of people to invite into our home, unless we're having a strictly backyard affair, but we entertain a lot and I'd like to know what I could/should say if this situation comes up in the future. Thanks.

Sign me,
I don't live at Gymboree for a reason

Ooh, that's a juicy one to start the week. What do you make of this, O Wise BHNers?